One of the things I feel like we lose in prayer, is the closeness and the intimacy. We bring our laundry list of needs to the Lord, but do not realize that He wants us to experience Him like we would a close friend or family member.
He wants us to come to Him in connection and communion where just sitting with Him in silence and solitude is okay. We do not need to have a long list of big, fancy words to say to Him. What if we allowed Him to talk to US during that time? In silence and solitude there is healing and restoration, because we are letting Him bring up things that we may have avoided.
In that quiet time with the Lord, we can allow Him to break down the walls of security in our hearts and in our lives; walls that we may not have even known we put up. Our whole being gets exposed and that can be daunting and scary. It becomes a place that is uncomfortable. But in those moments of great un-comfortableness, we find such great freedom, such great joy, such great loving intimacy with out Savior. Sitting in that brokenness, we can trust that He will meet us in that place.
As I sat with Christ and pictured Him sitting in front of me, He was no longer a distant figure; He was closer than I had ever experienced Him before. As I had a verbal dialogue with the Lord, I could truly feel His ever present, loving kindness and warmth just fill the room. I could picture Him reaching out and cradling my cheek as I reveled in His embrace. It was a beautiful moment that in all my journey with the Lord, I had never experienced before.
And that is what prayer is supposed to be! It is supposed to be a way for us to connect wholeheartedly with the Presence and love of our Father. As I understand and learn more about what deep and intentional prayer is, I have come to realize how lax my prayer life had become. I was rushing through that time with the Lord when I should have been embracing it. Maybe that was my way of avoiding Him because I felt too broken and too unworthy to be in His Presence? I don’t really know, but I realized that He wants me in that state of mind. Even if all I can do is sit in silence with no words to say. He cherishes that time with me and I need to cherish that time in return. It is precious.
As my discipleship class has been going through the book “Teach Me to Pray” by Andrew Murray (which is absolute fire by the way), it has taught me so much about what it means to pray to our Lord and be expectant for an answer, believing that what we ask will come to pass. Understanding that praying in both spirit and in truth is vital for a prosperous prayer life. My mind is literally blown as I have learned so much about what intentional prayer looks like, that I did not even know was an important part of prayer. God is teaching me so much as to what it looks like to come to Him in a full surrender as His chosen child.
So, walk in your destiny. Walk in your inheritance. God wants you, He loves you, and He wants a deep and meaningful relationship with you. Do not allow your feelings of brokenness prevent you from coming to Him in worship and praise.