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You know the saying “it’s better when we’re together?” They were onto something there.
If you look in the Bible, nowhere does it say you are supposed to walk alone. They specifically say, community is what you need to live life to the fullest. So why, when things are dark and confusing, we retreat? Living in isolation magnifies problems and increases the anxiety and depression to an unbearable level. Because of this, we find ourselves in a self dug hole, exhausted and hopeless. Nothing brings you joy. Nothing motivates you. The lies become louder and you slowly become a shell of who you used to be. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been in a place where secluding myself to my room seemed like the easiest option. I didn’t say yes to social events because how could I keep a smile on my face when I was drowning inside.
My life was miserable. And I was doing nothing to change it.
Until I made the choice for myself that this was not how I wanted to live my life. I didn’t want my future to hold broken dreams and missed opportunities. Especially when being a mom became my reality. I didn’t want to give the impression that their mom had given up. I want to instill in them a strong desire to seek truth and get up when life knocks them down. And that’s what we hope to accomplish with our daughter in the present day. And today, I can say I survived that because of Jesus and the freedom He re-instilled into me as well as acknowledging what I did to get there and vowing never to return to that toxic way of living. Today I am giving you encouragement that the storm never lasts forever. And I am further explaining why isolation is bad for your mental health.
*disclaimer…..I am not a doctor. Just an over comer who desires others to walk in freedom too.
1. The lies are louder in private.
I remember times when I would lay on my bed, stare at the ceiling, and allow the lies to invade the very depths of my psyche. I did nothing to quiet them and believed this was how life would always be. When you isolate yourself, the lies feed off of the quiet. Because there is no one around to distract, encourage, or support you in your struggle. All you have is a voice that doesn’t care what damage he does to how you see yourself.
So, open the door. Let the light in. Seek a community of people you trust and force yourself to allow the distraction of memories and laughter, quiet the ugly lies and let truth take over. Listen to who God says you are. A beautiful child. Strong. Chosen. Never alone. Made in His image. When you do that, you begin to see the world in color again.
2. It’s easier to succumb to what is comfortable.
We live in a world where easy is better. Do what makes YOU happy, or do what makes YOU comfortable and don’t go past that. There is no need to. But that is such a detrimental way of thinking. That mindset allows the anxiety, or depression or whatever you struggle with to lead the way you live your life, instead of you taking control of your life and choosing to journey through the trials differently.
Don’t settle for comfortable. Desire more for your life. Step out of your comfort zone and refuse to let life pass you by for more comfort in the moment. Let others into your struggles and seek newness together. Sometimes, the anxiety will seem like too much, almost to the point of inhibiting your ability to move. But take a deep breath and press on. It will set you up for greater success in the future. And you will look back and see how far you’ve come.
3. When you push people away, there will come a time when they won’t come back.
What I failed to realize is that others want to be there. Those who pursue the relationship with you mean what they say and what they do in their support of you. But the more you refuse their help and desire to be there for you, the closer you push them to not coming around again. Those that truly care for you, won’t care about the inconvenience it causes them. Because you aren’t an inconvenience to them and that’s what you have to remember.
The more you hide from others, the more your struggles feel magnified. Because you are choosing to fight on your own when you don’t have to. Accept the help people want to give. Trust those around you to divulge information you wouldn’t dare tell anyone else. Your mental health gains a boost when you don’t feel the need to fight by yourself. Let others in and let God fight for you.
4. You don’t feel the need to follow your dreams or aspirations because what’s the point?
Life becomes dull. The bright colors turn gray. You have no motivation or joy for the things you used to. Escaping into an alternate reality of social media, television, and your own psyche, is the only thing that makes sense to you at the time. You ponder on what life would be like if you weren’t the way you were….but yet do nothing to change it. You revel in other people’s “so called perfect lives” not even knowing that behind the social media facade, they are dealing with a lot of the similar things that you are. The best thing you can do is put the screen away. Force yourself into interaction with others. Find face to face conversations where you can have real conversations about your desires and dreams. Talking about them can get you excited and thinking that they are possible.
5. You feel the need to deal with it all on your own because who could relate?
Dealing with mental health struggles can feel very lonely. You feel as if you are the only person on the planet dealing with it. I realized, after TOO long a time, how wrong that was. And once I realized that, everything changed for me. I was able to begin speaking truth and believe it. I was no longer feeling like a terrible person which is what anxiety can easily do. So, understand that what you are going through, more than likely, someone else is in the same hole that you are. Find someone you trust to talk things through. Whether that be a counselor, family member, or best friend, bring the darkness to light.
If I can leave you with anything, it would be do not isolate yourself in an attempt to keep yourself safe and comfortable. Because more than likely, it will be more detrimental in the long run. You need support. You need encouragement. And not just any. You need the right kind of encouragement that does not make you feel even worse for bringing it up. Make sure it is someone you trust. That is key.
And last thing, force yourself to live life, even if it’s the last thing you want to do. Find things that make you laugh. Feel the sun on your face and your toes in the grass. Ground yourself in the midst of those brain games and tell Satan “not today”.
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